It feels like
But it isn't
3 mins
Big emotions are a normal part of relationships, but they can feel overwhelming at times. You might notice your body tense up, your thoughts start racing or your heart beating faster.
This can make you want to react, which could lead you to saying or doing something that might hurt someone you care about.
Instead, pause. Take a breath, work out what you’re feeling and name it. Then you’re ready for the next step.
Big emotions are a normal part of relationships, but they can feel overwhelming at times. You might notice your body tense up, your thoughts start racing or your heart beating faster.
This can make you want to react, which could lead you to saying or doing something that might hurt someone you care about.
Instead, pause. Take a breath, work out what you’re feeling and name it. Then you’re ready for the next step.
Step One
You've paused, now it's time to regulate your emotions.
This helps you understand the feeling and choose how to respond.
You’ll find it’s helpful to communicate respectfully, listen to others and navigate tough moments.
Regulation is different for everybody but can include walking, playing games, chatting with a mate. Whatever works for you.
If you need extra help identifying ways to regulate, visit ReachOut.
You've paused, now it's time to regulate your emotions.
This helps you understand the feeling and choose how to respond.
You’ll find it’s helpful to communicate respectfully, listen to others and navigate tough moments.
Regulation is different for everybody but can include walking, playing games, chatting with a mate. Whatever works for you.
If you need extra help identifying ways to regulate, visit ReachOut.
Step Two
You'll know you're getting there when your breathing and thoughts have slowed down and you're more curious about the situation than reactive to it.
Worth knowing for next time: what does calm actually feel like for you? The better you know your baseline, the easier it gets to spot when you're ready to talk.
You'll know you're getting there when your breathing and thoughts have slowed down and you're more curious about the situation than reactive to it.
Worth knowing for next time: what does calm actually feel like for you? The better you know your baseline, the easier it gets to spot when you're ready to talk.
You’ve paused and regulated, now it’s time to communicate.
Communicating is an important step. It gives you a chance to express what you’re feeling, understand each other and work through what’s happening together.
How you communicate can make a difference to your relationships. Recognise that your feelings are yours to manage, pick the right moment, lead with how you felt rather than what they did, and listen as much as you speak.
You’ve paused and regulated, now it’s time to communicate.
Communicating is an important step. It gives you a chance to express what you’re feeling, understand each other and work through what’s happening together.
How you communicate can make a difference to your relationships. Recognise that your feelings are yours to manage, pick the right moment, lead with how you felt rather than what they did, and listen as much as you speak.
Step Three
Before you chat, ask yourself: is this the right person to talk to? Is this the right time? If anything about it feels wrong, it's okay to stop here.
Need help? Reach out to someone you trust, or a service like ReachOut.
Before you chat, ask yourself: is this the right person to talk to? Is this the right time? If anything about it feels wrong, it's okay to stop here.
Need help? Reach out to someone you trust, or a service like ReachOut.
